“That is true for
some people,” I sighed as I glanced at
the clock, rolled over and punched my too warm pillow, “but not for me. After all, my children have long been adults
and I. Am. Retired!”
Yes, I turned in my keys and walked out of room 216 for the
last time two years and 53 days ago- but who’s counting? I am.
Maybe that’s why the surreal August school daze dreams where
my slo-mo shuffling feet can never reach my classroom before the images switch
in midstream to a migraine moment with a colleague nemesis, and then jump into
a scene where I’m back in high school but as my daughter, and I have a final
exam in Algebra 4 but I can’t find the right room and will fail the class if I
don’t, until finally I crawl to the edge reality, fighting the forces of this
run-on sleep invasion...
…and punch my innocently sleeping husband in the face. He
grunts and rolls over; after over four decades he’s used to the fist flings
that often accompany my See You in
September sleep assaults. Wide awake, I crawl out of from under the white
down comforter that now offers me no peace.
Maybe these dreams are more prevalent again because my
granddaughters called me the other day to share their excitement and
trepidation about their first and fourth grade teachers for this year.
Even though I’m two years out of the classroom, the August Anticipation
vs. Anxiety conflict still hits me hard. 
Will I ever quit feeling nostalgic when I see the shelves in
Target and Office Depot piled high with notebooks, folders, and Sharpies of
every hue?
Will I ever quit counting down the hours of freedom until the
bells, bells, bells begin to chime yet again?
Will I ever again sleep peacefully in this eighth month of
the year?
Probably not until I relegate everything educational to the
closets of my mind and heart. And that decision is not even a blip on my
horizon.
Until that does happen, I will hold onto the anticipation
because it fuels my curriculum creations. I will quell my night-time anxieties,
though, by suggesting ways teachers, parents of school-age children, and those
who wear both hats can stymie their own undesirable, sleep-depriving August school daze dreams. Here are a few
mental meanderings that rolled into my head as I took Tommy the Newfoundland on
a pre-dawn stroll around the neighborhood this morning.
Teachers:
1. As you fill your carts with pens, pencils, paper (lined, unlined, construction etc.) and
push pins, remember to toss in some presents for yourself: Kleenex, paper
towels, spray cleanser and hand sanitizer. You will be glad you did about a
week into the year when two-thirds of your students are suffering from the Back
to School Germfest caused by too many breathing bodies in an enclosed space and
the back of your nose teases you with its pre-cold tickle.
2.
Create detailed plans for the first month- yes,
the first month before the Starting Bell. Why?
Because PLC, department and faculty
meetings will consume a good deal of your contract hours.
Because Back to School night information
and edicts will start filling your email and snail mail boxes before Labor Day (some
BTS nights start as early as the second week of school in Fairfax County). These
will sap your planning energy with thoughts of how to prepare a welcoming and
engaging presentation.
Because your students will demand your full
time and attention, which is what teaching is all about in the first place, as
they adjust to the new term, and because administrators will want to see how
you plan to ensure each one’s proficiency.
3. Ladies- no matter how incredibly chic those new
gray Zigi Soho Tasmin Peep Toe Pumps are, or how sophisticated they look with
your new dove-gray pencil skirt and purple silk blouse- DO NOT WEAR THEM! Your
feet will hate you until December.
4. Gentlemen-do not don your Cool Story Bro tee-shirts until your students and colleagues get your droll sense of humor.
5. Be firm but fair. If you want your charges to
join you on the Learning Path, it is more important for them to view you as
challenging than easy. The former means that you are poking at their minds and
teasing their brains to actively respond-verbally or in writing. The latter
might be construed as “I don’t care” when you want it to be interpreted as
academically open-ended. Remember no conflict exists with happily ever after.
That’s why Julian Fellows had Matthew die at the end of Season 3 in Downton Abbey. Challenge leads to
conflict of the positive or negative variety which leads to thinking and doing
which ends in learning.
Parents:
1. Buy each of your school-aged children an alarm
clock-the louder the better. Teach them to be responsible for waking up and
making it to the family vehicle, the bus or the sidewalk in time to roll into
class before the late bell. Yes, the little ones still need your guidance and
help, but by 6th grade, all kids should be responsible for getting
to the school on time. Not you.
Here are a few suggestions to rouse those,
“Ten more minutes” drifters from their slumber:
http://www.womansday.com/home/10-alarm-clocks-thatll-get-you-out-of-bed-118525.
Personally, I like Clocky. I just
wish this Alarm Wonder had been available when my kids were still in high
school. Due to their morning grouchiness, they wouldn’t have appreciated how
Clocky rolled around and hid from them when they tried to turn him off, but I
would have giggled…a lot.
No matter how much you hate and fear to see
them fail, they will learn more from those Fs
than they ever will from constant reminders.
Lobbing that Responsibility Ball into their bedrooms instead of into yours
is the right choice. They need to care about their futures and their place in
this competitive world as much as…no…more than you do.
2. After you toss that clock in your shopping
cart-virtual or real- grab a laundry basket for each child that you deem old
enough to run the washer and dryer without causing floods, fires or wardrobes
full of doll-size clothes-all in Precious Pink.
My last day of teaching the June before my
son entered eighth grade and my daughter began eleventh grade, I stopped at
Target and bought them each one. The whole drive home I berated myself for not
thinking of this years earlier. No longer would my teeth clinch painfully about
9:00pm, when I heard pleas of, “Mom, can you wash this shirt for me?” along
with false promises to “… do the dishes the rest of the year”.
Instead, I gave them the summer to learn which
clothes needed cold, warm or hot water and why they should never, ever put
sweaters or any products made from wool in the dryer. They also learned to make
sure that their baskets were out of the laundry room on my laundry day. Parents,
this is the gift that keeps on
giving. Note: you can add in an ironing lesson or two if needed, too.
3. Set schedules for completing homework- and stick
to them! No one welcomes the eye-rolling, door slamming sighing flare-ups and
possible verbal battles that often occur when young people are redirected from
playtime to homework time. These limits are vital for everyone’s sanity and
stress levels.
4. As far as academics go, know when to push and
know when to sit back and let what happens happen. If Zelda chooses to text Bertha for hours
instead of reading 25 pages of The
Odyssey even though you have explained the cause/effect relationship so
often the dog could reiterate it, or if Bubba forgets to finish his government
project even though you had the due date stuck to the fridge in size 72 font, with
that Class of _ graduation date
magnet, remember: they made conscious choices and earned their grades.
No matter how much you hate and fear to see
them fail, they will learn more from those Fs
than they ever will from constant reminders.
Lobbing that Responsibility Ball into their bedrooms instead of into yours
is the right choice. They need to care about their futures and their place in
this competitive world as much as…no…more than you do.
5. Above all,
Listen- to what they say as well as what they don’t say. Their body
language, their clothes and the way they walk and talk shout their emotions as
clearly as a referee does fouls in a football game.
They want your attention as well as your
advice.
They need you to see them for who they are
not who you want them to be.
They will never tell you this, though.
They will never, ever admit that on some deeply
hidden level, they still see you as those Perfect Genius Parents you were when
they were five-years-old, although they respond to you as if you were dumber
than the rock wall that surrounds the rhododendrons in your front yard.
For me, maybe these August Anxieties will fade away like old
soldiers when all things educational fall from the pedestal where I placed them
when I was seven-years-old and playing school with my dolls and stuffed animals,
and learn how to be retired.
Maybe someday I will enjoy sweet dreams every summer night through
Labor Day. Probably that won’t happen until I learn to act like I’m retired and
quit tethering myself to my computer during school hours.
But do you know what? Even as the insomnia and
teeth-gnashing school daze dreams flicker across my closed eyelids, I realize
that I’m just not ready yet to see them go. And that’s okay.
For all of you who yearn for an end to school-dazed nights during the hazy days of August, I hope this
blog offers you sweet dreams.
Until next week,
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