Sunday, May 5, 2013

Oh, School Super(intendent)Claus

Dear Readers,
I'm sorry to have missed publishing my blog yesterday but it was my birthday, and I took some time off to celebrate.  Here is this week's Teacher Talk. I hope you enjoy it.


Dear Super(intendent) Claus,
Even though many of my friends and colleagues in the teaching trenches say that you don’t exist, I believe (“I believe, I believe, I believe”) that you do.  In your heart of hearts, I know that you don’t want teachers to be so weighed down by administrative and bureaucratic dictates that they become bone-weary and so soul- sapped that they consider leaving this most honorable profession.

 In my three+ decades of teaching, I have encountered evidence of your existence with smaller classes and larger pay stubs. But the Terror of Teachers, the Ogre of Academia, and the Scourge of Schools have feasted on these compensations, leaving only vestiges of these motivational incentives.  Super (intendent) Claus, please prove your existence to my skeptical colleagues by granting our few, but fervent wishes.

I am presenting them in lyric form, following the format created by Joan Javits in 1953.  Read (or hum or sing) them to the tune of Santa Baby, first sung by Eartha Kitt. The original lyrics were a satiric response to a woman's actual Christmas list; these lyrics also show a satiric tone, but they are ever so serious in intent.

Oh, School Super(intendent)Claus

Oh, Super Claus, slip a contract into the mail, for us,
No fuss.
We’ve been top-notch teachers, Oh, Super Claus,
so hurry to the School Board tonight.


Oh, Super Claus, we’d love a COLA an’ step raise, please,
No freeze.
Show your love for teachers,
Oh, Super Claus, so hurry to the School Board tonight.


Think of all the sleep we've missed,
Think of all the students on our class lists,
Next year our lessons will be prolific,
If you'll ask the School Board to be terrific.


Oh Super Claus, we’re so distraught,
‘Cause our requests have been for naught’
We’ve been loyal team players,
So Super Claus, please hurry to the School Board tonight.


Oh Super Claus, one thing we really do need,
Is freed
From gatherin’ data, that doesn’t matta’,
So Super Claus, please hurry to the School Board tonight.


Oh Super Claus, just let us have the freedom,
To teach.
So many students we need to reach,
So Super Claus, please hurry to the School Board tonight.


Stop by and see the difference we make,
When students’ educations are at stake,
We really want to believe in you,
Let's see if you respect us, too.


Oh Super Claus, we forgot to mention-this test obsession,
Is causing some student and staff depression.
We know AYP we need to be earnin’,
But it should never replace a love for learnin’
So Super Claus, please hurry to the School Board tonight.



Super(intendent) Claus, thank you for listening to this chorus of educators, on this, the eve of Teacher Appreciation Week.

Until next week,